6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
