Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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