I need help removing her.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
