Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
