She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I have post one night stand depression
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