Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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