He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
