she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
