Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
zippers are such a cool invention
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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