We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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