i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
