How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
