When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
