I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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