That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
