Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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