Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
whose parrot is this?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
