I feel like I'm in dance class right now
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
