btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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