remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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