So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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