we're blogging at a bar
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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