whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
