Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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