that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
