i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
