I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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