There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
