If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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