We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
