Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
