shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
