omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
