check it out our google latitudes are spooning
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
