He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
