pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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