Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
