drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
