Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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