You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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