do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
