i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think my moral compass just broke
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
