So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
