this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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