none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
