I want you more than these girls want KFC
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
