Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
