Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
