maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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