I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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