you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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