i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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