lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
