Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
